{"id":6678,"date":"2013-04-11T15:43:22","date_gmt":"2013-04-11T19:43:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/?p=6678"},"modified":"2013-04-11T15:43:22","modified_gmt":"2013-04-11T19:43:22","slug":"group-of-disabled-mice-assaulted-by-local-woman-after-misunderstanding","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/2013\/04\/11\/group-of-disabled-mice-assaulted-by-local-woman-after-misunderstanding\/","title":{"rendered":"Group of Disabled Mice Assaulted by Local Woman after Misunderstanding"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

Durham, N.C. – A chilling scene greeted local police when they arrived at the home of Agnes McDonald, wife of famed Old McDonald, after a frantic 911 call from the woman on Friday evening. Three visually impaired rodents were found to have been maimed with a Ginso carving knife, their tails severed, allegedly at the hands of Mrs. McDonald herself.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Worst of all, the incident seems to have been a result of a misunderstanding. When they heard the footsteps of a human coming into the kitchen, the mice, all of whom are legally blind, ran in the direction of their mouse hole. Having been on a two-week vacation in a neighboring home, however, the mice were unaware that the McDonalds had recently remodeled their kitchen. An obstacle (the\u00a0new center island) blocked their path and forced them to run along its edge, directly toward the woman of the house.<\/p>\n

Upon seeing the rodents, Mrs. McDonald became frightened. \u201cI saw this gang of pests running toward me,\u201d she told the investigator. \u201cI didn\u2019t know they were blind. I just thought they had a crazy look in their eyes.\u201d<\/p>\n

Fearing for her safety, she pulled a knife out of the knife block and whacked off each mouse\u2019s tail. \u201cI didn\u2019t want to kill them,\u201d she said further, \u201cbut I wasn\u2019t about to let a gang of varmints overrun my house.\u201d<\/p>\n

The mice were rushed to a local veterinary hospital, where their tails were reattached successfully. The authorities have deemed the incident a case of self-defense. Upon hearing that no charges were filed against Mrs. McDonald and that they themselves might be charged with trespassing, the mice responded, \u201cOf course we don\u2019t think justice has been served!\u201d They intend to sue the McDonalds in civil court.<\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

I assigned the kids to write a newspaper article based on a nursery rhyme or folk song. That’s the example I wrote for them.<\/p>\n

To help them get started, I came up with headlines for other nursery rhymes and folk songs. First person to identify them all gets the grand prize: a cyber high-five from me.<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Murine Citizen\u2014Innocent Bystander,\u00a0<\/b>or Clock Vandal?<\/b><\/li>\n
  2. Near Drowning at Local Water Source<\/b><\/li>\n
  3. Area Woman Attempts Murder of Boyfriend While Hiking, Nearly Kills Self<\/b>\u00a0<\/b><\/li>\n
  4. Dairy-Loving Witness Intimidated with Arachnid<\/b><\/li>\n
  5. Police Investigate Chilling Ovine Theft\/Maiming<\/b><\/li>\n
  6. Woman Framed for Destruction of Iconic Bridge?<\/b><\/li>\n
  7. Area Young Sheep: Devoted Pet, or Deranged Stalker?<\/b><\/li>\n
  8. Local Woman\u2019s State Fair Ribbons Stripped After Plant-Doping Accusations<\/b><\/li>\n
  9. Bone Thief at Large; Octogenarian Victim Speaks Out<\/b><\/li>\n
  10. Area Man Arrested After False-Gourd-Imprisonment of Spouse<\/b><\/li>\n
  11. Elderly, Boot-Dwelling Mom Convicted of Child Abuse<\/b><\/li>\n
  12. Case of Extreme Hunger, Animal Cruelty, or Psychosis?: Police Baffled<\/b><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Bonus cyber high-five to anyone who writes an article.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Durham, N.C. – A chilling scene greeted local police when they arrived at the home of Agnes McDonald, wife of famed Old McDonald, after a frantic 911 call from the woman on Friday evening. Three visually impaired rodents were found to have been maimed with a Ginso carving knife, their tails severed, allegedly at the … Continue reading Group of Disabled Mice Assaulted by Local Woman after Misunderstanding<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6678","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-teaching"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6678","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6678"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6678\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6685,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6678\/revisions\/6685"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6678"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6678"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6678"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}