I think it’s time I came clean about Redford’s drinking problem.<\/p>\n
He totally binges.\u00a0 He gets too full and burps, and out comes a torrent of viscous nastiness onto my floor.<\/p>\n
He also has a substance abuse problem.\u00a0 Both Redford and Violet do.\u00a0 The substance is poop.\u00a0 Last week, I took the beasts to the park when it was slushy and raining because I knew no one would be there and I could let the dogs off the leash.\u00a0 They ran around like crazy people, fording rivers, leaping from embankments, chasing vermin, and munching on the excrement of various woodland creatures.\u00a0 After a little more than an hour, I put them in the car—hadn’t gone 10 feet before I heard YORRRKK<\/em> from the way back.<\/p>\n Redford had puked.<\/p>\n Puked poop.<\/p>\n In the back of my car.<\/p>\n Ftw.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I think it’s time I came clean about Redford’s drinking problem. He totally binges.\u00a0 He gets too full and burps, and out comes a torrent of viscous nastiness onto my floor. He also has a substance abuse problem.\u00a0 Both Redford and Violet do.\u00a0 The substance is poop.\u00a0 Last week, I took the beasts to the … Continue reading My Life Has Become Unmanageable<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-654","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-animules"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/654","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=654"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/654\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":658,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/654\/revisions\/658"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=654"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=654"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=654"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}