{"id":6443,"date":"2013-03-05T21:17:38","date_gmt":"2013-03-06T02:17:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/?p=6443"},"modified":"2013-03-05T21:17:38","modified_gmt":"2013-03-06T02:17:38","slug":"a-man-who-knows","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/2013\/03\/05\/a-man-who-knows\/","title":{"rendered":"A Man Who *Knows*"},"content":{"rendered":"

Every time I spend more than a couple hours with my dad<\/a>, he gets his ramble on, and I’m reminded that he’s one of the funniest people I know. He came for an overnight visit on Friday, just for the hell of it. In 24 hours, this all happened:<\/p>\n

“I should’ve had this winter coat cleaned. It’s all rumpled and looks like hell. Of course, I’m<\/em> all rumpled and look like hell, so it’s really me.”<\/p>\n

*****<\/p>\n

[when I showed him a picture I took of him and my dogs] “Yes, I like that picture very much. My arms are bigger than Bruce Willis’s. And my face is obscured which is probably a good thing.”<\/p>\n

*****<\/p>\n

“A lot of violence. A lot<\/em> of violence.” [recapping a 90s Dolph Lundgren vehicle he recently found in the bargain bin at Wal-Mart (“$5 for 8 movies on one DVD!”)]<\/p>\n

*****<\/p>\n

“You’re talking to a man who knows<\/em>. I mean, he’s talking to you. You’re brushing your teeth.”<\/p>\n

*****<\/p>\n

I often overhear from another room Dad having conversations with my dogs. A few months back, I caught him explaining the family tree to Violet:<\/p>\n

“Your<\/em> mistress is my<\/em> baby girl.”<\/p>\n

This time he mostly talked to ‘Nita, as has already been documented<\/a>, and to Redford:<\/p>\n

“You’re looking well rested this morning.”<\/p>\n

And<\/p>\n

“You’re a good doggy. …If only you could get me another cup of coffee.”<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Every time I spend more than a couple hours with my dad, he gets his ramble on, and I’m reminded that he’s one of the funniest people I know. He came for an overnight visit on Friday, just for the hell of it. In 24 hours, this all happened: “I should’ve had this winter coat … Continue reading A Man Who *Knows*<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6443","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-animules","category-fambly"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6443","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6443"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6443\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6448,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6443\/revisions\/6448"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6443"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6443"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6443"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}