It’s scary, to be honest.<\/p>\n
I’m in a not-so-great place, to be honest.<\/p>\n
Even things that had been going well are not going well. Wednesday, at the gym, my buddy Chad came by to give me a fist bump after the workout. “You crushed that WOD, Amy Scott,” he said.<\/p>\n
I responded that I less “crushed it”, and more just “laid a hand on it and half-heartedly pushed down”… And actually, now that I thought about it, I less “pressed on it”, and more just “gave it the finger from a distance”. And it was true. I did pretty much two reps at a time of everything. I was tired and grumpy, and my plantar fasciitis was raging. My right heel felt like somebody’s heavy came after it with a baseball bat and my calf like it was one pace away from charley horsing.<\/p>\n
When I said I was grumpy, Chad said, “Well, it was a grumpy WOD.” It was. It was a grumpy fucking WOD (20-minute AMRAP—what the shit?), but sometimes those are the best because you come off them feeling like you’re the boss of it. This one… It was the boss of me.<\/p>\n
Also, yesterday as I was walking the dogs, I was reminded of that scene in the movie Parenthood<\/em> when Steve Martin’s character wonders whether they should have the kid\u00a0Mary Steenburgen’s character is\u00a0pregnant with, and she says something like, “I’m not even sure we should keep the two we’ve got.”\u00a0‘Nita<\/a>‘s adorable and I love her, but she’s a psycho around things with wheels, which makes our walks\u00a0a teensy bit<\/em>\u00a0stressful.\u00a0So what does my brain do? My brain tells me\u00a0I shouldn’t even have dogs<\/em>. My brain is the boss of me. The terrible, terrible boss of me.<\/p>\n Then my brain thinks this—no kidding, no edits—it thinks:<\/p>\n Everything’s overwhelming, and nothing’s good.<\/em><\/p>\n How’s that for some hyperbole? But, seriously, in that moment, it felt true. For all the above reasons.<\/p>\n Plus, and I’ve mentioned this before, I’m seriously considering single motherhood. To the point that I’ve done some legitimate research on the topic.<\/p>\n And it’s cool and exciting and scary and all that, but mostly it highlights the fact that all this would be physically, emotionally, financially, and in all other ways easier with a mate, and\u00a0I cannot fucking find a mate to save my fucking life<\/em>.<\/p>\n And now it feels like I’m throwing myself a pity party, and I hate that.<\/p>\n I’m not being\u00a0the boss of me. And I hate that.<\/p>\n There. I wrote something. It was terrible. I hate that.<\/p>\n **********<\/p>\n Three years<\/strong> ago, GAH, I HAD A BOYFRIEND<\/a>. <whimper><\/p>\n Two years<\/strong> ago, someone swam a river to meet me<\/a>. QUIT RUBBING IT IN, ARCHIVES.<\/p>\n …Maybe I should quit my bitching and get back into the online dating scene<\/a>, like I was a year<\/strong> ago. Wait.\u00a0 You guys. Man. I’m a bloggy failure mess. I am not the boss of this blog. I can’t seem to write\u00a0shit, and blah blah this has happened before, but never for this long. It’s scary, to be honest. I’m in a not-so-great place, to be honest. Even things that had been going well are not … Continue reading Retrobruxist Friday 3\/1\/13, or The Boss of Me<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6425,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,13,5,20,12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6411","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-animules","category-call-me-crazy","category-dating","category-first-world-problems","category-liftin-heavy-objects-over-ma-head"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6411","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6411"}],"version-history":[{"count":15,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6411\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6429,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6411\/revisions\/6429"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6425"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6411"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6411"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6411"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\n<\/a><\/p>\n![\"Nope](\"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/03\/Nope-Cat.jpg\")
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