{"id":6327,"date":"2013-02-20T08:57:01","date_gmt":"2013-02-20T13:57:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/?p=6327"},"modified":"2013-02-20T15:39:13","modified_gmt":"2013-02-20T20:39:13","slug":"no-poo-if-it-were-me-id-put-an-apostrophe-before-the-p-but-wikipedia-doesnt-have-one-so","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/2013\/02\/20\/no-poo-if-it-were-me-id-put-an-apostrophe-before-the-p-but-wikipedia-doesnt-have-one-so\/","title":{"rendered":"No Poo (If It Were Me, I’d Put an Apostrophe Before the P, But Wikipedia Doesn’t Have One, So)"},"content":{"rendered":"

When I was in Italy, my host sister washed her hair on Saturday evenings. That was it. Once a week. So did most of my friends. Everybody thought I was bananas for washing my hair every day.<\/p>\n

And they were right. So much work.\u00a0Washing, conditioning, drying<\/em>. Drying’s the worst.<\/p>\n

I’ve been\u00a0semi-obsessed with going No Poo<\/a> (grossest\/most red-herringy\u00a0name for a thing ever?—yes), or at least Less Poo, for over a decade. Aside from not having to dry it and <\/em>avoiding rubbing chemicals directly into my scalp underneath which sits my brain just begging for cancer of itself, think how much money<\/em> I’d save over the course of a lifetime if I didn’t buy shampoo or conditioner. Let’s be conservative and say five bucks a month, times twelve months, times (let me go ahead and give myself another) 50 years… that’s three grand! That’s a trip somewhere cool!<\/p>\n

The internets say that, as a super-cheap option, you can wash your hair with baking soda and condition it with vinegar. (And if you do them at the same time, woohoo—science project!)\u00a0I’ve used them. I thought rinsing with vinegar would make me smell like salad dressing all day, but no, it was fine. However, baking soda is a mite harsh on the old strands, especially when you dye the crap out of them like I do.<\/p>\n

And it was cheap, but I still had to wash it. And dry<\/em> it UGH MY LIFE IS SO HARD.<\/p>\n

People say you can just “train” your hair not to need any shampoo whatsoever by—get this—not washing it.<\/p>\n

[Don’t be greasy! Good hair. *treat* Who’s<\/em> a good hair? Who’s the best<\/em> hair?]<\/p>\n

In 2003, to train it, I started washing my hair every other day instead of every day. Those “people” I mentioned, the supposed professional hair whisperers: liars. I wore head scarves on non-wash days\u00a0for two years<\/em> because that shit was like the Deepwater Horizons spill. A\u00a0decade later, it still gets greasy on the second day. Now on non-wash days, I’ll apply dry shampoo like<\/p>\n

\"a<\/a>
a little of this<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

or maybe<\/p>\n

\"a<\/a>
a little summa this<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

but they’re probably both full of chemicals, and I doubt I’m saving any money. The Psssssst! is only six bucks but provides maybe four applications, and the Alterna lasts a while but put me out $22 at Sephora.<\/p>\n

So anyway, one thing we know about me is that I like to take somebody else’s system and fuck it up (see: cooking posts). One time, I decided that since one could wash one’s hair with baking soda, one could probably use baking soda as a dry shampoo. I sprinkled some on my scalp, tossed it through, and voila! It totally worked. Absorbed the oils, and I was on my way.<\/p>\n

Except it was raining that day. Maybe you’ve used baking soda as a kitchen or bathroom cleanser, and you know that all you have to do is add a little water and it becomes a viscous paste. Maybe you can conclude that I walked around that day with a white sludge covering my scalp all day. Maybe you understand that I’m an idiot.<\/p>\n

I have good intentions. That counts for something, right?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When I was in Italy, my host sister washed her hair on Saturday evenings. That was it. Once a week. So did most of my friends. Everybody thought I was bananas for washing my hair every day. And they were right. So much work.\u00a0Washing, conditioning, drying. Drying’s the worst. I’ve been\u00a0semi-obsessed with going No Poo … Continue reading No Poo (If It Were Me, I’d Put an Apostrophe Before the P, But Wikipedia Doesn’t Have One, So)<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6328,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6327","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-first-world-problems"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6327","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6327"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6327\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6371,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6327\/revisions\/6371"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6328"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6327"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6327"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6327"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}