{"id":6164,"date":"2013-01-17T21:45:31","date_gmt":"2013-01-18T02:45:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/?p=6164"},"modified":"2013-03-13T08:28:59","modified_gmt":"2013-03-13T12:28:59","slug":"wherein-amy-learns-to-dress-herself","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/2013\/01\/17\/wherein-amy-learns-to-dress-herself\/","title":{"rendered":"Wherein Amy Learns to Dress Herself"},"content":{"rendered":"

I’m sure you’re all\u00a0dying<\/strong> to know how my fashion endeavors<\/a> are going. I’ll let you be the judge.<\/p>\n

I eased out of the gate, starting with an ensemble I knew I’d be comfortable in (pic taken in the 6th grade girls’ bathroom omg whatever u so stupid!!1!):<\/p>\n

\"This<\/a>
Brownish-gray–does anybody say ‘slacks’ anymore? I think I shall–*slacks* with a jewel-tone sweater and short boots.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I liked this outfit. I felt good in it, though it struck me as kind of plain. Needed some baubles or something, but Kate hasn’t given me the accessories lesson yet. More anon.<\/p>\n

That was my first work outfit. Here’s my first going-out outfit:<\/p>\n

\"Dark<\/a>
Dark jeans, patterned camisole, turquoise cardigan, and purple pleather jacket. Not pictured: short boots.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

As you can see, I was a little unsure. Was it too much? I texted this photo to Kate, and she assured me that it was all good. So, OK. I’d probably wear this again.<\/p>\n

The second week at work I wore<\/p>\n

\"Same<\/a>
the same *slacks* with a saturated(!) orange top and cream cardigan. Also short boots.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I liked this one too and didn’t feel like it needed accessories because of the tie on the shirt? Maybe? What the fuck do I know though.<\/p>\n

So… I had been feeling real proud of myself for my efforts, and I told Kate all about my progress. She said, “I’m not hearing about any skirts.”<\/p>\n

Daw. What a task-master.<\/p>\n

I promised I would wear one skirt every two weeks. The first attempt:<\/p>\n

\"Navy<\/a>
Navy patterned\/textured skirt with buttons, white t-shirt, same turquoise cardigan as above (I’m MIXING, I’m MATCHING), and navy tights. Also, short boots (Finally! You can kind of see the short boots!).<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

But I messed up, I guess. I showed Kate this picture, and she was sufficiently proud that I had put on a skirt, but apparently, the neckline of the t-shirt is too high.<\/p>\n

I think I get bonus points that override my gaffe, however, because
\n(a) this was the first time I had worn a skirt to work, maybe ever<\/em>; and
\n(b) look at my face—you can see how physically and emotionally uncomfortable I was. All day<\/em>; and
\n(c) one of the (male) custodians said, “That is a lovely outfit”; and
\n(d) did you miss it? I SAID TIGHTS. I’M WEARING TIGHTS. TIGHTS.<\/em><\/p>\n

There’s a story behind the next outfit. On our shopping expedition, I had basically been eating everything Kate and Michelle fed me. If they said something looked good, I bought it, regardless of how I felt in it. But then we got to the Gap, and they pulled this… article of clothing off the rack. I call it an article of clothing because it was a biker jacket, but it was a sweatshirt, but it was a biker jacket, but it was orange, but it was kinda closer to red maybe, and it had an asymmetrical zipper, and whoa, it was so weird, you guys.<\/p>\n

Both Kate and Michelle went, “Oooooooooooooh.”<\/p>\n

So I said, “Oooooh what?” thinking they were going to say, “What Oompa Loompa on acid designed this thing?” But no.<\/p>\n

They both insisted<\/em> that I try it on because it was awesome<\/em>, so I did just to humor them, and they both gasped. For real, they gasped, and said things like “HOT”.<\/p>\n

At that point, the notion occurred to me that the whole day had been a big practical joke. I’d just been taking everything on faith, and they’d been seeing exactly how gullible I was. But I contemplated it for a while and realized they were my friends, and I’d never know them to be cruel, and maybe they were once again seeing something I wasn’t. So I bought it.<\/p>\n

It only took me a month to get up the courage to wear it!<\/p>\n

\"Red-orange<\/a>
Red-orange biker sweatshirt(?) with trouser jeans and white shirt that I already owned. And short boots. And foster dog.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I got about ten “Ms. Scott, I like your jacket”s at school, and just as many compliments that night at the Monti.<\/p>\n

OK, then. As I said, what the fuck do I know.<\/p>\n

(I know I love my short boots. That I do know.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I’m sure you’re all\u00a0dying to know how my fashion endeavors are going. I’ll let you be the judge. I eased out of the gate, starting with an ensemble I knew I’d be comfortable in (pic taken in the 6th grade girls’ bathroom omg whatever u so stupid!!1!): I liked this outfit. I felt good in … Continue reading Wherein Amy Learns to Dress Herself<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6165,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[125,20],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6164","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-fayshun","category-first-world-problems"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6164","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6164"}],"version-history":[{"count":17,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6164\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6535,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6164\/revisions\/6535"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6165"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6164"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6164"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6164"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}