{"id":5758,"date":"2012-11-18T20:47:28","date_gmt":"2012-11-19T01:47:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/?p=5758"},"modified":"2012-11-19T22:42:46","modified_gmt":"2012-11-20T03:42:46","slug":"how-much-for-that-black-skull-no-the-one-with-the-flames","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/2012\/11\/18\/how-much-for-that-black-skull-no-the-one-with-the-flames\/","title":{"rendered":"How Much for That Black Skull, No the One with the Flames"},"content":{"rendered":"

Just got home. Some friends and I rented a cabin up in the mountains for the weekend. We hiked. We hot-tubbed. We had a good time.<\/p>\n

Saturday we went into the tiny town of Chimney Rock. Recently I lost an earring from my favorite pair, and shortly thereafter, one from my second favorite pair, so\u00a0I was hoping that there would be some artsy-craftsy stores selling silver jewelry.<\/p>\n

I didn’t find any, but I did find these items for sale.<\/p>\n

[UPDATE: To be clear, these photos were taken in nine<\/em>\u00a0different<\/em> stores<\/em>. Some of my friends thought this was one magical shit-store, but no. All the stores<\/em>\u00a0in Chimney Rock are shit-stores.]<\/p>\n

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Breakfast syrup. Put it on your breakfast.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
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Ingredients 1, 2, 3, and 5 are sugar.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
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Bargain at any price.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
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For the decorative skull enthusiast.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
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Native-themed home decorations, Looney Tunes statues, and Coca-cola polar bears all in one convenient location.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
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So many groups to offend, so little buckle collection board space.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
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Often I find paintings of wolf heads or horse heads and I say, “I would buy these, but they’re *not printed on a piece of wood*.” Well.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
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A banjo-themed suncatcher… *shaped like a banjo*. Meta.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
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Ha ha! Gun violence is hilarious.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
\"\"<\/a>
I.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
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Gtfo. That’s not a bench press. That’s a weighted push-up.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
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You know, for enlightenment.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
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In case you can’t read the hanger, it says “Hillbilly Brief Case”. \/Hilarious.\/<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
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I’m not sure what offends me more, the kitsch or the lapse in parallel structure. Wash your hands or you might get Jesus!<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

The whole town of Chimney Rock belongs on\u00a0the Worst Things for Sale<\/a>\u00a0website.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Just got home. Some friends and I rented a cabin up in the mountains for the weekend. We hiked. We hot-tubbed. We had a good time. Saturday we went into the tiny town of Chimney Rock. Recently I lost an earring from my favorite pair, and shortly thereafter, one from my second favorite pair, so\u00a0I … Continue reading How Much for That Black Skull, No the One with the Flames<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[98,99],"class_list":["post-5758","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-random","tag-chimney-rock","tag-the-worst-things-for-sale"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5758","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5758"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5758\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5787,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5758\/revisions\/5787"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5758"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5758"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5758"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}