{"id":5531,"date":"2012-10-14T21:16:49","date_gmt":"2012-10-15T01:16:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/?p=5531"},"modified":"2012-10-14T21:16:49","modified_gmt":"2012-10-15T01:16:49","slug":"steal-the-sun-from-the-sky-for-you-and-make-a-dress-out-of-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/2012\/10\/14\/steal-the-sun-from-the-sky-for-you-and-make-a-dress-out-of-it\/","title":{"rendered":"Steal the Sun from the Sky for You* (and Make a Dress Out of It)"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I promised you my 8th grade prom dress for the Embarrassing Photo of the Week, and I like to keep my promises.\u00a0Pretty much every girl at the dance wore some version of the dress that my best friend (also pictured, because dates? &#8212; what even?) wore, but NOT ME. Because why would I wear something conservative to the prom at Cove Creek K-8 Elementary (graduating class size: 30), which sits ten miles outside\u00a0of Boone, North Carolina?<\/p>\n<p>No, this occasion called for another Amy Scott\/McCall&#8217;s Couture design with Mama Scott at the bobbin. Notes:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Once again, my mother did\u00a0<em>exactly<\/em> what I asked of her.<\/li>\n<li>The three skirts(!) are made of a highly flammable fabric that is white with a gold\u00a0lam\u00e9 pattern;<\/li>\n<li>The bodice, spaghetti straps(!), edging of the three(!) skirts, and the side-pony-tail(!) holder are gold lam\u00e9(!);<\/li>\n<li>When I found those 3-inch heels(!!) also white with a gold\u00a0lam\u00e9 pattern(!!!!!) at Payless ShoeSource in Boone Mall, I nearly crapped myself from happiness;<\/li>\n<li>Again, the reason <a href=\"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/?p=5503\">my legs<\/a> make it look like I&#8217;m two half-people stitched together at the waist is because I spent Mondays and Wednesdays from 5:00 to 7:00 at the Dancer&#8217;s Corner &#8212; in that building that used to be Shadrack&#8217;s Barbeque, you know &#8212; doing tap and jazz, <em>of course<\/em>; and<\/li>\n<li>My bangs are curled, teased, and shellacked to a bullet-proof state.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<div>Go ahead. Click on it. It&#8217;s pretty spectacular.<\/div>\n<figure id=\"attachment_5532\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-5532\" style=\"width: 223px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/10\/IMG_2624.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-5532\" title=\"IMG_2624\" src=\"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/10\/IMG_2624-223x300.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"223\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/10\/IMG_2624-223x300.jpg 223w, https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/10\/IMG_2624-764x1024.jpg 764w, https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/10\/IMG_2624.jpg 1935w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 223px) 100vw, 223px\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-5532\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">What.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>And you get a special bonus Embarrassing Photo of the Week because that&#8217;s the kind of guy I am. I used the &#8220;Bulge&#8221; effect in Photo Booth to do a better version of the <a href=\"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/?p=5279\">horrifying photo from the Monti<\/a>.<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_5538\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-5538\" style=\"width: 300px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/10\/Photo-on-2012-10-14-at-09.30-2.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-5538\" title=\"Photo on 2012-10-14 at 09.30 #2\" src=\"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/10\/Photo-on-2012-10-14-at-09.30-2-300x225.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" srcset=\"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/10\/Photo-on-2012-10-14-at-09.30-2-300x225.jpg 300w, https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/10\/Photo-on-2012-10-14-at-09.30-2.jpg 640w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-5538\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">I think I nailed it this time.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>Bonus #2 because I can&#8217;t stop!:<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_5539\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-5539\" style=\"width: 300px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/10\/Photo-on-2012-10-14-at-09.30.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-5539\" title=\"Photo on 2012-10-14 at 09.30\" src=\"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/10\/Photo-on-2012-10-14-at-09.30-300x225.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" srcset=\"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/10\/Photo-on-2012-10-14-at-09.30-300x225.jpg 300w, https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/10\/Photo-on-2012-10-14-at-09.30.jpg 640w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-5539\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Don&#8217;t I look like a sad hobbit?<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>I will look for more prom photos next time I go to Boone. There are a couple real doozies I think you&#8217;re gonna like.<\/p>\n<p>*Super-special prize for the first person who can identify the prom theme without Googling it. And by super-special prize, I mean I&#8217;ll be really proud of you.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I promised you my 8th grade prom dress for the Embarrassing Photo of the Week, and I like to keep my promises.\u00a0Pretty much every girl at the dance wore some version of the dress that my best friend (also pictured, because dates? &#8212; what even?) wore, but NOT ME. Because why would I wear something &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/2012\/10\/14\/steal-the-sun-from-the-sky-for-you-and-make-a-dress-out-of-it\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Steal the Sun from the Sky for You* (and Make a Dress Out of It)<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5531","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-random"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5531","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5531"}],"version-history":[{"count":18,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5531\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5553,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5531\/revisions\/5553"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5531"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5531"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5531"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}