{"id":5061,"date":"2012-09-02T14:43:17","date_gmt":"2012-09-02T18:43:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/?p=5061"},"modified":"2012-10-03T18:05:31","modified_gmt":"2012-10-03T22:05:31","slug":"the-foster-chronicles-tulip-week-22","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/2012\/09\/02\/the-foster-chronicles-tulip-week-22\/","title":{"rendered":"The Foster Chronicles: Tulip, Week 24"},"content":{"rendered":"

Don’t know Tulip? Start here<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Day 1<\/strong><\/p>\n

It’s dark. By the time all of us see it, the cat luxuriating in the street gutter is a mere four feet away. Redford and Tulip are like, “DIBS ON THE NOMS. JINX BUY ME A CAT.” I manage to control Tulip, but in the melee, Redford ends up standing on his hind legs with his claws in my upraised forearm. I walk away from the cat, pushing him. He’s bunny-hopping backward. For a moment, I’m doing Krav Maga against my dog.<\/p>\n

Big old welts in the flesh of my forearm when I get home. Asshole.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
Tulip considers starting a band.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Day 2<\/strong><\/p>\n

After my airport debacle<\/a>, Tulip gets to play at Auntie Wa’s house again<\/a>. Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!<\/p>\n

Day 3<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
There is couch-snuggling.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Day 4 <\/strong><\/p>\n

I hear Tulip scrabbling at the door. When I open it, I see she has scratched two scratchy spots in the deck. Is there an animal living underneath my deck that she’s trying to get to? Because that’s what I need. An animal living under my deck.<\/p>\n

CCB likes to have pictures of the dogs with their foster people so I attempt to snap a picture of me and Tulip together.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
But Tulip won’t look at the camera.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I try again.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
Nope.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
\"\"<\/a>
No.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
\"\"<\/a>
Huh-uh.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
\"\"<\/a>
Close, but she won’t stop moving.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
\"\"<\/a>
Come on.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
\"\"<\/a>
Tulip, seriously.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
\"\"<\/a>
I try smooching her into stillness.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
\"\"<\/a>
“Oh, we’re smooching now?” she says.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
\"\"<\/a>
Smooch.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
\"\"<\/a>
Smooooooooooooooooooooch.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
\"\"<\/a>
God, that was exhausting.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Day 5<\/strong><\/p>\n

Redford and Violet’s bestie Barley the Dog<\/a> comes over for a four-day slumber party while her mommies are out of town. She learns the dog shuffle<\/a> in a jiffy.<\/p>\n

Day 6<\/strong><\/p>\n

In preparation for future travels, I’m trying to line up doggy-sitters for Tulip. She goes for a test-drive slumber party at a prospect’s house. (Don’t get excited; this woman won’t adopt Tulip because she has joint custody of a big female pit\/lab mix with her ex-husband.)<\/p>\n

I get a call about 8:00. Tulip’s peed on the carpet twice; do I have any suggestions?<\/p>\n

Tulip! >:\/<\/p>\n

No, I don’t. Redford gets confused by carpet<\/a> too (“It’s grass! But inside!”). I tell her just to let her out as soon as she comes out of the crate and every couple hours.<\/p>\n

Day 7<\/strong><\/p>\n

I pick her up from the sitter. The woman says there were no more potty incidents after our call. Phew.<\/p>\n

Tulip got hella cuter in the last 20 hours.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
She IS. She totally is.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

The Foster Chronicles: Tulip, Week 25<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Don’t know Tulip? Start here. Day 1 It’s dark. By the time all of us see it, the cat luxuriating in the street gutter is a mere four feet away. Redford and Tulip are like, “DIBS ON THE NOMS. JINX BUY ME A CAT.” I manage to control Tulip, but in the melee, Redford ends … Continue reading The Foster Chronicles: Tulip, Week 24<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[42,40,41,38,43],"class_list":["post-5061","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-animules","tag-facebook","tag-foster-dog","tag-krav-maga","tag-pit-bulls","tag-sweet-baby-monkey-face-shmoopy-bear"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5061","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5061"}],"version-history":[{"count":21,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5061\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5362,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5061\/revisions\/5362"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5061"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5061"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5061"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}