{"id":4967,"date":"2012-08-12T20:48:43","date_gmt":"2012-08-13T00:48:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/?p=4967"},"modified":"2012-10-03T18:02:59","modified_gmt":"2012-10-03T22:02:59","slug":"the-foster-chronicles-tulip-week-20","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/2012\/08\/12\/the-foster-chronicles-tulip-week-20\/","title":{"rendered":"The Foster Chronicles: Tulip, Week 21"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Don&#8217;t know Tulip? Start <a href=\"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/?p=4147\">here<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Day 1<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I come out of the shower to find Tulip chewing up a pair of flip flops that I&#8217;ve\u00a0<em>just<\/em> bought to replace the flip flops Violet chewed up two years ago. (Yes, I have been wearing them since then.) I snatch the shoe out of her mouth and&#8212;I&#8217;m not proud of this&#8212;I throw it at her. It glances off her foot.<\/p>\n<p>It is mangled. I&#8217;m so mad I flop down face-down on my bed and just breathe. It&#8217;s only a flip-flop, I say. She didn&#8217;t know any better, I say.<\/p>\n<p>Eventually, I get up, but I give her the silent treatment. Though she has\u00a0<em>always<\/em> followed me from room to room, she stays on my bedroom floor and looks sheepish.<\/p>\n<p>I last about five minutes before I crawl up next to her and rub my forehead against her neck. She forgives me. Dogs.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Day 2<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>A woman who has previously adopted a CCB dog wants to meet Tulip, though she has a cat, and I think Tulip might eat a cat.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Day 3<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>My buddy <a href=\"http:\/\/durhamhoods.com\/\">Phil<\/a> develops a plan to bomb a bunch of neighborhood listservs with an email about Tulip, including links to her <a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/TulipTheAdoptABullDog\">Facebook page<\/a> and <a href=\"http:\/\/agardenfortulip.tumblr.com\/\">tumblr<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>I write and forward him the email, and he implements the plan.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Day 4<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Due to the listserv bomb, Tulip gets lots of new Likers on Facebook. Everyone thinks she&#8217;s so funny.<\/p>\n<p>She shits on the deck again. Very funny, Tulip.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Day 5<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Two different prospects contact me about meeting Tulip. I send them my availability for the weekend, and we set up appointments.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Day 6<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Both prospects cancel.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Day 7<\/strong><\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_5004\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-5004\" style=\"width: 223px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/IMG_1617.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-5004\" title=\"IMG_1617\" src=\"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/IMG_1617-223x300.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"223\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/IMG_1617-223x300.jpg 223w, https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/IMG_1617-764x1024.jpg 764w, https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/IMG_1617.jpg 1935w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 223px) 100vw, 223px\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-5004\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">How the hell has she not been adopted yet?<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/?p=5030\">The Foster Chronicles: Tulip, Week 22<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Don&#8217;t know Tulip? Start here. Day 1 I come out of the shower to find Tulip chewing up a pair of flip flops that I&#8217;ve\u00a0just bought to replace the flip flops Violet chewed up two years ago. (Yes, I have been wearing them since then.) I snatch the shoe out of her mouth and&#8212;I&#8217;m not &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/2012\/08\/12\/the-foster-chronicles-tulip-week-20\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">The Foster Chronicles: Tulip, Week 21<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4967","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-animules"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4967","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4967"}],"version-history":[{"count":13,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4967\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5359,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4967\/revisions\/5359"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4967"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4967"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4967"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}