{"id":4725,"date":"2012-07-08T19:58:46","date_gmt":"2012-07-08T23:58:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/?p=4725"},"modified":"2012-10-03T17:57:30","modified_gmt":"2012-10-03T21:57:30","slug":"the-foster-chronicles-tulip-week-15","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/2012\/07\/08\/the-foster-chronicles-tulip-week-15\/","title":{"rendered":"The Foster Chronicles: Tulip, Week 16"},"content":{"rendered":"

If you’re new to the Foster Chronicles, Tulip’s story starts here<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Day 1<\/strong><\/p>\n

I decide I’m going to do it. I’m going to reintroduce the dogs. We all do the short neighborhood loop (it’s 96 degrees outside). Then I put Violet in the house, let Redford off the leash, and walk Tulip, still tethered, around the yard. Redford saunters in a half-assed way to the middle of the yard but quickly returns to the door and is all, “You know, whatever, but inside is air-conditioned.”<\/p>\n

So much for reintroduction.<\/p>\n

Day 2<\/strong><\/p>\n

Tulip’s out; Violet and Redford in. My sister comes to visit with her munchkins for a minute. When we go outside, hey, look! It’s mini-poodle<\/a>! I’m supposed to take pictures and call Animal Control because that family has been warned, so next up is a fine for not containing their dog. But Tulip’s cool with him, and I can’t bring myself to do it.<\/p>\n

Naturally, mini-poodle bolts the moment he sees me, but Tulip comes in panting, so they must’ve been frolicking. Or maybe he was making her feel like a natural woman. I don’t know.<\/p>\n

Day 3<\/strong><\/p>\n

I keep all the dogs inside for most of the day because<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

(CCB, I’m a great copy editor! Call me!)<\/p>\n

But in the evening, we all need to get our wiggles out—the dogs because they’ve been inside and me because I performed several acts of bravery during the day. (One of them involved a machete<\/a>.)<\/p>\n

We’re walking around the block when a dog whose owner had it off-leash sprints toward us. This will not go well. I call, “Could you call off your dog please?” But the dog does not follow the owner’s commands and runs circles around us. I’m terrified Tulip will flip out, but instead it’s Redford, who does not like to be run at<\/em> when he’s on the leash, who loses his shit. Of course I have a tight grip on him. He can’t get at the instigator. So he redirects on Violet, and she’s all, “WHAT THE EFF YO?”<\/p>\n

Meanwhile, this woman and her dog are playing Duck, Duck, Goose around us, and as if I weren’t sweaty enough already, I’m now drenched. Eventually, I walk far enough away, and the other owner chases her dog back to the yard. The dogs recover in about four seconds. Me, takes a little longer.<\/p>\n

The woman later apologizes on the neighborhood listserv.<\/p>\n

Day 4<\/strong><\/p>\n

We do a short walk with my neighbor\/friend. In this heat, 25 minutes lays the dogs out for a good four hours.<\/p>\n

Day 5<\/strong><\/p>\n

Little bit longer walk. So many corrections. I haven’t walked in circles with her forever. There’s my trouble, probably.<\/p>\n

Day 6<\/strong><\/p>\n

Tulip and I head to Phydeaux Raleigh for another adoption event. I’m crossing my fingers this goes better than last time<\/a>.<\/p>\n

It’s 104 degrees, so I’m glad to see they’ve decided to set up the table in the store, but another rescue organization has already occupied the space just inside the doors, so we’re kinda smooshed off into a corner out of the line of traffic.<\/p>\n

Even worse, the first thing people see when they walk in<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
is this.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Wait, does that look like a puppy? No, no, that’s not a puppy. That’s<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
twelve puppies.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Sorry, older dogs. No snugs for you.<\/p>\n

The other group leaves about 2:15, and we shift over to the prime real estate, but by then the foot traffic has slowed down. A few people saunter by and dole out a head-scratch now and again. Nobody’s interested in adopting Tulip or the other bullies though.<\/p>\n

:(<\/p>\n

When I get home, I put an ad on Craig’s List, which immediately gets flagged and removed. I don’t know why because I read the guidelines and I hadn’t broken any of them. So I post another one. Hopefully it’ll stay up.<\/p>\n

Day 7<\/strong><\/p>\n

I wake up to two responses from my online ad. Both are spam.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
Tulip has a dream she’s a kangaroo.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

The Foster Chronicles: Tulip, Week 17<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

If you’re new to the Foster Chronicles, Tulip’s story starts here. Day 1 I decide I’m going to do it. I’m going to reintroduce the dogs. We all do the short neighborhood loop (it’s 96 degrees outside). Then I put Violet in the house, let Redford off the leash, and walk Tulip, still tethered, around … Continue reading The Foster Chronicles: Tulip, Week 16<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4725","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-animules"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4725","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4725"}],"version-history":[{"count":16,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4725\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5353,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4725\/revisions\/5353"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4725"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4725"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4725"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}