Here’s the thing about compulsive eating, and if you’re an alcoholic, addict, or other type of self-destructor, you can sing along with the bouncing ball: I swear to god I want to change. I want it so, so bad. I would compromise my morals if I knew that it would take away the impulse to do damage to myself.<\/p>\n
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately because I had a conversation on Saturday with a friend of mine that went something like this:<\/p>\n
Me: I need to start running, but I’m slower than <\/em>[our mutual friends who run].<\/em><\/p>\n Him: You can keep up with them.<\/em><\/p>\n Me: I’m way shorter, and my BMI is way higher.<\/em><\/p>\n Him: You can change your BMI.<\/em><\/p>\n Me: Well, see, I eat too much.<\/em><\/p>\n Him: Do you drink enough water? Water will make you feel full.<\/em><\/p>\n Me: Doesn’t matter. I eat when I’m not hungry. I’ve developed some pretty messed-up coping strategies to deal with my emotions.<\/em><\/p>\n Him: Well, now that you know that, do you want to continue doing it?<\/em><\/p>\n Me: No. I’ve been working on it for about eleven years.<\/em><\/p>\n Him: What do you eat during a day?<\/em><\/p>\n I recited a list, explained that I eat, for the most part, healthy stuff, but just too much of it because it helps me suppress feelings.<\/p>\n Him: If you take out 350 calories a day—just substitute a big glass of water for one of those snacks—you’ll lose a pound every ten days.<\/em><\/p>\n Me: (sigh)<\/em><\/p>\n I know this. I know it. I understand the math. I get how calories work. I grasp the concept of energy out versus energy in.<\/p>\n I just can’t stop it. And don’t think I’m not trying. I’ve read books, seen therapists, been in groups, taken skills classes, meditated—shit, I even went to eight sessions of hypnosis. I’m trying<\/em>. I really, really<\/em> am.<\/p>\n But some people seem to think this is the solution:<\/p>\n