{"id":4012,"date":"2012-02-17T14:27:52","date_gmt":"2012-02-17T19:27:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/?p=4012"},"modified":"2012-02-17T14:27:52","modified_gmt":"2012-02-17T19:27:52","slug":"on-my-honor-i-will-try","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/2012\/02\/17\/on-my-honor-i-will-try\/","title":{"rendered":"On My Honor, I Will Try"},"content":{"rendered":"

For some godforsaken reason, I ordered seven boxes of Girl Scout cookies this year. And that simple act blew New Year’s Resolution #5<\/a> all to shit. What is it about those damn things? I know people say, “It’s ’cause they’re only available once a year.”<\/p>\n

Bullshit.<\/p>\n

The kinds I like are<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
Caramel Delites,<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
\"\"<\/a>
Thin Mints, and <\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
\"\"<\/a>
Peanut Butter Patties.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Well, guess what the Keebler elves make and provide to my local Kroger year-round?<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
Coconut Dreams,<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
\"\"<\/a>
Grasshoppers, and<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
\"\"<\/a>
Peanut Butter Filled cookies.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

And guess how much they taste like their Girl Scouty counterparts?<\/p>\n

Exactly.\u00a0They taste exactly like Girl Scout cookies.<\/p>\n

So why was I eating five Caramel Delites every afternoon on the way to the gym<\/em>? And then a half-sleeve of Thin Mints after. Seriously, like I couldn’t have them any day of the damn year.<\/p>\n

I don’t know, but I took every last cookie to school yesterday and gave them away to my students. I feel so much better.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

For some godforsaken reason, I ordered seven boxes of Girl Scout cookies this year. And that simple act blew New Year’s Resolution #5 all to shit. What is it about those damn things? I know people say, “It’s ’cause they’re only available once a year.” Bullshit. The kinds I like are Well, guess what the … Continue reading On My Honor, I Will Try<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13,20,14,7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4012","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-call-me-crazy","category-first-world-problems","category-gluten-freek","category-teaching"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4012","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4012"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4012\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4019,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4012\/revisions\/4019"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4012"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4012"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4012"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}