{"id":3830,"date":"2012-01-28T09:19:46","date_gmt":"2012-01-28T14:19:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/?p=3830"},"modified":"2012-01-30T13:04:16","modified_gmt":"2012-01-30T18:04:16","slug":"ill-take-my-victories-where-i-can-get-em","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/2012\/01\/28\/ill-take-my-victories-where-i-can-get-em\/","title":{"rendered":"I’ll Take My Victories Where I Can Get ‘Em"},"content":{"rendered":"

This reduced-sugar<\/a> resolution is difficult. I mean, I’m doing it. Not exactly on the schedule I set out, but still going whole days (often two, occaionally three) without dessert. However, I think about it a lot, and sometimes the only thing keeping me off the English toffee is<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
Trader Joe's Unsweetened, Unsulfured, Dried Pineapple Rings.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Nom nom nom.<\/p>\n

I know I should cut the sugar out completely. People say that the cravings would go away. But I just can’t right now. I’m 100% positive I would end up bingeing if I tried to go more than two days. Even one time last week, I was trying to avoid a sweet item, and I ended up eating everything around it. And then it.<\/p>\n

But sugar is a poison<\/a>, and I don’t want to be toxic. Sugar is a drug<\/a>, and I don’t want to be an addict. That’s why I’m doing this.<\/p>\n

Funny thing is (not funny-ha-ha, but funny-makes-me-throw-temper-tantrums-in-my-head<\/a>), people assume I’m doing it for weight loss. Realized this a couple weeks ago when I talked with another woman about eating two Hershey’s kisses and really savoring them, rather than doing the Lucy in the Chocolate Factory<\/a> routine I usually do.<\/p>\n

Other woman: Well, you’re not worried about the sugar, you’re worried about the calories, and that was only thirty calories, so that’s great.<\/em><\/p>\n

Me: …No, I’m not worried about the calories. I’m trying to cut down on sugar for its own sake.<\/em><\/p>\n

‘Cause I don’t do shit to lose weight anymore. I don’t believe I’ll ever<\/em>\u00a0be thinner than I am. I’m—what’s the word?—resigned<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Not that I don’t want to be not-fat. I do want to be not-fat. I just have no confidence that I can do—or, I guess, that I can cultivate the willingness to do—what’s required to be not-fat.<\/p>\n

Of course, four people in the last few weeks told me how much weight I’ve lost or said I looked skinny. I told them it was because I was wearing a tighter shirt than normal so I was sucking in my gut. Which was true.<\/p>\n

Naturally, I haven’t lost weight. I weigh five pounds more<\/em> than I did when I started CrossFit*. OK, whatever, muscle mass, distribution, toning, blah blah blahdi-fucking-blah. I’m sick of thinking about it.<\/p>\n

Point is, I’ve made my bed every day of 2012. That counts for something, right?<\/p>\n

*Update: I guess not. When I weighed in at the meet on Saturday, I weighed 170, which is approximately five pounds less than a year and a half ago.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This reduced-sugar resolution is difficult. I mean, I’m doing it. Not exactly on the schedule I set out, but still going whole days (often two, occaionally three) without dessert. However, I think about it a lot, and sometimes the only thing keeping me off the English toffee is Nom nom nom. I know I should … Continue reading I’ll Take My Victories Where I Can Get ‘Em<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13,20],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3830","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-call-me-crazy","category-first-world-problems"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3830","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3830"}],"version-history":[{"count":15,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3830\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3913,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3830\/revisions\/3913"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3830"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3830"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3830"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}