{"id":3718,"date":"2012-01-02T15:55:01","date_gmt":"2012-01-02T20:55:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/?p=3718"},"modified":"2012-01-03T09:12:06","modified_gmt":"2012-01-03T14:12:06","slug":"3-day-wod-fire-pit-for-time","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/2012\/01\/02\/3-day-wod-fire-pit-for-time\/","title":{"rendered":"3-Day WOD: Fire Pit, for Time!"},"content":{"rendered":"

A couple months ago, I got a bee in my bonnet about putting a fire pit in my yard. Whenever I get excited about a project, I have to say I’m going to do it five or six times before I actually do it. So I did that. I’d say, “I’m thinking about building a fire pit,” and my friends would say, “Yeah! Do it!” and a few weeks later, I’d say, “I’m thinking about building a fire pit.”<\/p>\n

Ten days ago, I decided I would have some folks over for New Year’s Eve, but my house is really small, and it was going to be too cold for the deck. So I built a fire pit. Impending events are very motivating to me.<\/p>\n

I got online and checked out some plans and videos. I thought maybe I’d make it flush with the ground—I just liked that aesthetic—but when I asked for advice, one of my friends said to build a little wall around it so people would have a place to put their feet. That’s what I planned.<\/p>\n

I bought a ton of Appalachian river stone from\u00a0the Rock Shop. (My knight-in-law delivered it to my house in his truck.)<\/p>\n

On Thursday<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
I made a hole.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

While I was digging, a guy driving by slowed down.<\/p>\n

Him: You diggin a well?<\/em><\/p>\n

Me: Fire pit.<\/em><\/p>\n

Him: You doin it yourself?<\/em><\/p>\n

Me: (flinging dirt into wheelbarrow) Yep.<\/em><\/p>\n

Him: You all right.<\/em><\/p>\n

The soil in my yard is hard-as-shit red clay. I didn’t want to end up installing an ersatz vase that would hold rain and become a mosquito hot spot, so for drainage<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
I dumped in gravel<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
\"\"<\/a>
and sand<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
\"\"<\/a>
and then set in two layers of river stone and sand.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Another neighbor, Albert, who lives across the street with his 98-year-old mother and has about six teeth altogether in his head, came over.<\/p>\n

Albert: You plantin a tree?<\/em><\/p>\n

Me: Nope. Making a fire pit.<\/em><\/p>\n

Albert: You gon have somebody do it for ya?<\/em><\/p>\n

Me: …I’m doing it myself.<\/em><\/p>\n

Albert: How you know to do it?<\/em><\/p>\n

Me: I just got on the internet and looked at some plans.<\/em><\/p>\n

Albert: Innernet. I don believe in the innernet.<\/em><\/p>\n

Me: …<\/em><\/p>\n

Albert: That innernet datin done me wrong.<\/em><\/p>\n

I thought about saying, “Me too, Albert. ME TOO.” But I just wanted him to go away so I could get back to work, and I’ve already dealt with one neighbor of an inappropriate age and tooth-count asking me out and sending me Valentines(!), so I didn’t say anything and he wandered away.<\/p>\n

The next day, I mixed 80 pounds of concrete in my wheelbarrow and started ringing the pit with stones. Albert came back.<\/p>\n

Albert: I wanna be invited to your first barbeque.<\/em><\/p>\n

Me: It’s not that kind of fire pit. It’s just going to be to sit around.<\/em><\/p>\n

Albert: Oh. You jus gon sit around it?<\/em><\/p>\n

Me: Mm-hm.<\/em><\/p>\n

Albert: Jus to sit around.<\/em><\/p>\n

Me: Yep.<\/em><\/p>\n

Albert: Fire pit.<\/em><\/p>\n

Me: Fire pit.<\/em><\/p>\n

Albert: I have confidence in you.<\/em><\/p>\n

Me: Thanks.<\/em><\/p>\n

My knight-in-law came back with a couple of his trusty squires. One of them spent a lot of time trying to break the rocks by throwing them onto the other rocks and losing Lego pieces in my yard; the other was quite helpful with sorting the rocks by size and shape.<\/p>\n

I kept laying in the rocks. When I got to the top of the hole, my aching back and low blood sugar won over and I was like, screw the wall, I’m done. The knight-in-law took off the top layer of grass and soil, and<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
we puzzled in a patio-lip-kind-of-thing and called it a day.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Third day, I mixed up another bag of concrete, cemented in the lip, and covered it with sand. Hello again, Albert.<\/p>\n

Albert: You done a hellified job.<\/em><\/p>\n

Me: Thanks.<\/em><\/p>\n

Albert: How you gon cook the meat?<\/em><\/p>\n

Me: …Not planning to cook on it. Just going to make a fire.<\/em><\/p>\n

Albert: In your fire pit.<\/em><\/p>\n

Me: In my fire pit.<\/em><\/p>\n

And guess what! That night,<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
I made a fire in my fire pit!<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
\"\"<\/a>
Here's one with the flash on.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
\"\"<\/a>
Here's one the day after. My fire pit was not being particularly photogenic that day. Believe me, it's beautiful.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Some of the stones around the top are loose because people stepped on them and I probably didn’t use enough concrete and WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? I’M NOT A MASON. And anthropologists in the future will almost certainly look at it and say, “Based on the engineering, we estimate this malaria bowl was made by Homo ergasters.”<\/p>\n

But it’s mine. It’s my fire pit. I built it. I done a hellified job.<\/p>\n

Also, “hellified”: favorite new word. Thanks, Albert.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A couple months ago, I got a bee in my bonnet about putting a fire pit in my yard. Whenever I get excited about a project, I have to say I’m going to do it five or six times before I actually do it. So I did that. I’d say, “I’m thinking about building a … Continue reading 3-Day WOD: Fire Pit, for Time!<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12,11],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3718","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-liftin-heavy-objects-over-ma-head","category-the-estate"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3718","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3718"}],"version-history":[{"count":19,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3718\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3766,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3718\/revisions\/3766"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3718"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3718"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3718"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}