{"id":3256,"date":"2011-09-30T11:03:55","date_gmt":"2011-09-30T15:03:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/?p=3256"},"modified":"2011-09-30T11:03:55","modified_gmt":"2011-09-30T15:03:55","slug":"vihr","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/2011\/09\/30\/vihr\/","title":{"rendered":"VIHR"},"content":{"rendered":"

Sometimes I get really dedicated to Very Important Hair Removal. Now there’s one thing I’ll never do, unless maybe I start a porn career. (My doctor friend: “It’s mucosa! Would you ever shave your tongue<\/em>?!” Exactly.) But I do wax my eyebrows, trim the ol’ nostril cilia, and use a<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
medieval torture device<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

on my leg and armpit hair.<\/p>\n

And then there’s the mustache. The mustache that my friends swear<\/em> they can’t see, and I usually don’t either, until I’m sitting in my car with the late afternoon sunlight pouring in, and I flip down my visor mirror, and GOOD GOD, I LOOK LIKE GERALDO RIVERA.<\/p>\n

And I can’t help myself, I head for the wax. This is a bad move, a stupid move, because it always ends the same way. Whether I wax it myself, or I have it waxed by a professional, no matter what kind of wax I use, or if I pluck it with tweezers, or if I steam my pores open first, or even get it threaded at the mall, I always spend the next five to seven days with tiny whiteheads on my upper lip.<\/p>\n

What’s worse? A mustache that can only be viewed on sunny days between 4:00 and 6:00pm in my vehicle or a week’s worth of lip acne?<\/p>\n

The mustache, right?<\/p>\n

(Everybody pretend you don’t see my lip acne for the next week, K?)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Sometimes I get really dedicated to Very Important Hair Removal. Now there’s one thing I’ll never do, unless maybe I start a porn career. (My doctor friend: “It’s mucosa! Would you ever shave your tongue?!” Exactly.) But I do wax my eyebrows, trim the ol’ nostril cilia, and use a on my leg and armpit … Continue reading VIHR<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20,18],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3256","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-first-world-problems","category-t-m-i"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3256","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3256"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3256\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3266,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3256\/revisions\/3266"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3256"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3256"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3256"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}