{"id":280,"date":"2009-12-04T04:00:18","date_gmt":"2009-12-04T04:00:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/?p=280"},"modified":"2010-01-08T21:47:15","modified_gmt":"2010-01-09T02:47:15","slug":"i-stir-fry-myself","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/2009\/12\/04\/i-stir-fry-myself\/","title":{"rendered":"I [Stir-fry] Myself"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Joined Match.com today.  OKCupid was not cutting it.<\/p>\n<p>Sometimes, just for shits and giggles, I like to play Mad Libs with the dudes&#8217; profiles.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;You want somebody that: treats you like a [dolphin], [swiffers] you, has a money paying [monkey], won&#8217;t embarrass [your cat], [screams] charge, makes you [speak Arabic] and will listen to your [rotator cuffs] but not fix them.&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Joined Match.com today. OKCupid was not cutting it. Sometimes, just for shits and giggles, I like to play Mad Libs with the dudes&#8217; profiles. &#8220;You want somebody that: treats you like a [dolphin], [swiffers] you, has a money paying [monkey], won&#8217;t embarrass [your cat], [screams] charge, makes you [speak Arabic] and will listen to your &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/2009\/12\/04\/i-stir-fry-myself\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">I [Stir-fry] Myself<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-280","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dating","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/280","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=280"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/280\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":439,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/280\/revisions\/439"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=280"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=280"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=280"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}