{"id":2647,"date":"2011-06-16T23:25:45","date_gmt":"2011-06-17T03:25:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/?p=2647"},"modified":"2011-06-20T09:09:14","modified_gmt":"2011-06-20T13:09:14","slug":"phrases-from-your-profile-which-automatically-disqualify-you-from-my-dating-pool","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/2011\/06\/16\/phrases-from-your-profile-which-automatically-disqualify-you-from-my-dating-pool\/","title":{"rendered":"Phrases from Your Profile* Which Automatically Disqualify You from My Dating Pool"},"content":{"rendered":"

not much of a reader<\/em><\/p>\n

There’s nothing wrong with not being a reader. I just can’t imagine we could hold a mutually interesting conversation.<\/p>\n

My relationship with my creator<\/em><\/p>\n

Again, nothing wrong with that, and I’ve got no problem with a dude who believes in a Higher Power, but if you call It “your creator”, chances are you’re way farther along the religion spectrum than I am, and I think religion is one of those things like ‘desire for children’ where, in order to have a relationship, two people have to be relatively close.<\/p>\n

i love to laugh<\/em><\/p>\n

Seriously? Who writes this? Raise your hand if you hate to laugh. Or even if you’re kinda take-it-or-leave-it on the whole laughter issue.<\/p>\n

Nobody.<\/p>\n

That’s because everybody loves to laugh. Saying “I love to laugh” is like saying “I really enjoy orgasms”. Yeah, so does the rest of the human race, dumbass.<\/p>\n

My reproductive organs<\/em><\/p>\n

Let me qualify that. If you say that you overcame cancer of your reproductive organs, that’s one thing. However, if this phrase is in the section of your profile titled “Six Things I Couldn’t Live Without”…no.<\/p>\n

I like a woman with some booty lol.<\/em><\/p>\n

Oh, cruelest of ironies! I’ve got the booty and I lol about it<\/a> regularly<\/em>. What a wonder to find someone who appreciates it. Yet the fact that you write that on your dating profile makes me want to punch you in your reproductive organs.<\/p>\n

*These are all phrases taken verbatim from OKCupid profiles. Fortunately not all from the same profile because that person would be the worst possible match for me. No, wait a minute. Forgot I already found him<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

not much of a reader There’s nothing wrong with not being a reader. I just can’t imagine we could hold a mutually interesting conversation. My relationship with my creator Again, nothing wrong with that, and I’ve got no problem with a dude who believes in a Higher Power, but if you call It “your creator”, … Continue reading Phrases from Your Profile* Which Automatically Disqualify You from My Dating Pool<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,20],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2647","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dating","category-first-world-problems"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2647","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2647"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2647\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2719,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2647\/revisions\/2719"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2647"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2647"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2647"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}