I’m going to be 36 in September. Let’s say I meet someone tomorrow. We do the dating thing and discover, miraculously, that we’re perfect for each other. That would take—what?—minimum a year, right? Let’s pretend he proposes, and we plan our wedding. That’s another year. And then imagine that I’m Fertile Myrtle, which I’m not convinced that I am, and I conceive on our wedding night. Grant all that, and I’m going to be 38 when I have my first child.<\/p>\n
Now, let’s say I don’t meet him tomorrow. Or for another year, or two years, or five years, or ever. Which is totally plausible, because there’s clearly something very, very wrong with me.<\/p>\n
How long do I wait before I have kids? I don’t really want to be a single mom, but I don’t want to be an ancient mom, either. And it’s not like I wouldn’t have help. Last year, when I was in a relationship and had that random 6-week stretch between periods, and I called my sister to freak out, I could hear<\/em> her smiling<\/em> over the phone. “…I’d help you raise it!” she cooed.<\/p>\n And yesterday at brunch, I saw this dude. Guy I’ve known casually for years. He doesn’t even live in Durham anymore, but he comes back frequently to visit. He’s fucking gorgeous. An artist. And he gives hugs that make your panties fall off. I thought when I saw him, as I have many, many times in the past, “I want to have his babies.” If I could whisk his sperm and my eggs together, I think the result would be a ridiculously cute tan-skinned artist\/writer baby omelet.<\/p>\n You may be wondering, if I like him so much, why I don’t just ask him out. The answer is, I kinda did. A few years ago, I basically told him I was gonna make him my boyfriend, and he was totally flattered and ultimately just not down with it. I don’t know. One of my friends says he has some relationship baggage, but most likely he just didn’t find me attractive.<\/p>\n But he’s clearly got some phenomenal genes, and if I could get ahold of some of them and a turkey baster….<\/p>\n How would he react if I asked him though? Two friends of mine, a lesbian couple—no, not them<\/a>…not them<\/a> either…not them<\/a> either…jeez, I have a lot of lesbian friends— Anyway! They’re trying to start a family. They thought about going to a sperm bank but decided instead just to ask a friend who they thought was really awesome to donate. He said he would do it gladly.<\/p>\n But is their friend the exception? Would most men be into it? Or would they be uncomfortable, or horrified, or upset?<\/p>\n So this question is for the dudes out there (and I know there are so many of you who read this blog):<\/p>\n How would you feel if someone asked you to be their sperm donor?<\/p>\n Feel free to answer anonymously.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I’m going to be 36 in September. Let’s say I meet someone tomorrow. We do the dating thing and discover, miraculously, that we’re perfect for each other. That would take—what?—minimum a year, right? Let’s pretend he proposes, and we plan our wedding. That’s another year. And then imagine that I’m Fertile Myrtle, which I’m not … Continue reading I Gave at the Office<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8,20,18],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2513","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fambly","category-first-world-problems","category-t-m-i"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2513","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2513"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2513\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2727,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2513\/revisions\/2727"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2513"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2513"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2513"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}