I told him, “I want a goldang white picket fence.”\u00a0 I told him, “If I’m gonna move into a goldang single-wide with you and Tabitha and Travis Jr., you’re gonna put up a white picket fence that I can look out at and say, ‘That there’s my white picket fence.'”\u00a0 I mean, if I’d of known seven years ago what I know now, I never would of left the Dairy Joy with him that night.\u00a0 He was all, “You’re purdy” and “Come for a ride” and I did, and Lord Jesus, what a ride it’s been.\u00a0 I can’t even set foot in that Dairy Joy no more.\u00a0 First of all, that Bronco wadden even his—it was his daddy’s—and on account of them not speakin to each other after that fishin mishap, that was my first and last ride in it.\u00a0 Travis drives a Escort.\u00a0 When it runs.\u00a0 Which is not too goldang often.\u00a0 Next up, the money he used to buy me that double-scoop Oreo sundae, it runs out.\u00a0 He only got $450 from the city for gettin his thumb caught in the elevator door at the courthouse. Tell the truth, they shouldn’t of paid him a dime cause, for starters, that elevator didn’t hurt him none.\u00a0 He took a blue magic marker to his thumb before he got that picture took.\u00a0 And second of all, he was at the courthouse because he owed the county $518 for speedin tickets!\u00a0 The way I see it, they should of just deducted the four fifty from that and asked for the rest.\u00a0 Anyhow, he thought he was gonna get some big settlement so he told his boss over at the Hostess factory to shove it and by the time he went snivelin back, Dwayne had already filled his position.\u00a0 So ever since two weeks after we met, we been livin on what I make down at the old folks’ home.\u00a0 I used up all the money I’d saved for that secretarial program down at the community college, just gettin our bills paid.\u00a0 That’s why I told him, “Buddy, you hain’t given me nothin but heartache and gonorrhea so I figure you owe me one white picket fence.”\u00a0 Anyhow, I preciate you listenin to me like that, but I see you got other tables to get to.\u00a0 I’ll have a double-scoop Oreo sundae.\u00a0 Thank God for this Dairy Queen.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I told him, “I want a goldang white picket fence.”\u00a0 I told him, “If I’m gonna move into a goldang single-wide with you and Tabitha and Travis Jr., you’re gonna put up a white picket fence that I can look out at and say, ‘That there’s my white picket fence.’”\u00a0 I mean, if I’d of … Continue reading Single-wides and Double-scoops<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-227","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/227","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=227"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/227\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":228,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/227\/revisions\/228"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=227"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=227"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=227"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}