{"id":1498,"date":"2010-11-26T19:24:48","date_gmt":"2010-11-27T00:24:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/?p=1498"},"modified":"2010-12-05T14:24:03","modified_gmt":"2010-12-05T19:24:03","slug":"smiling-youre-a-jackass","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/2010\/11\/26\/smiling-youre-a-jackass\/","title":{"rendered":"(smiling) You’re a Jackass!"},"content":{"rendered":"

Why won’t people stop telling me I’ve lost weight? You might recall, I fucking hate it<\/a>.You might recall, when they tell me I’ve lost weight, I’ve never lost weight<\/em>. You might recall that I think people just remember me as a jiggly behemoth and are surprised when they see me and I’m fat but not that fat<\/em>.<\/p>\n

I’ve had three people in the last three weeks tell me I’ve lost weight. Guess what! I haven’t! And they’re so pleased with themselves, like they’re paying me a compliment.<\/p>\n

One of my co-workers asked about my gym and said, “You look good. You look like you’re losing weight.” So what you’re saying is I should<\/em> be losing weight. What you’re saying is that I didn’t look good in your mistaken memory. Thanks, bitch.<\/p>\n

It makes me so mad. So, so mad.<\/p>\n

I’m realizing my rage is unhealthy. So in the future, when they say, beaming, “You <\/em>have lost weight!” I’m going to say, “No. Not at all. I guess you’re<\/em> just not remembering since last time you saw me how ridiculously fine<\/em> I am.”<\/p>\n

Or maybe I should try, “Wow, it’s a good thing you got your hair cut—it looks so much better<\/em> now!”<\/p>\n

Other suggestions?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Why won’t people stop telling me I’ve lost weight? You might recall, I fucking hate it.You might recall, when they tell me I’ve lost weight, I’ve never lost weight. You might recall that I think people just remember me as a jiggly behemoth and are surprised when they see me and I’m fat but not … Continue reading (smiling) You’re a Jackass!<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1498","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1498","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1498"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1498\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1558,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1498\/revisions\/1558"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1498"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1498"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1498"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}