{"id":134,"date":"2009-09-21T22:29:44","date_gmt":"2009-09-21T22:29:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/?p=134"},"modified":"2009-09-21T22:29:44","modified_gmt":"2009-09-21T22:29:44","slug":"jordi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/2009\/09\/21\/jordi\/","title":{"rendered":"Jordi"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>When Jordana and I used to ride the Metropolitan Transit Authority together, one of our favorite things to do was to read the Spanish advertisements that ran along the ceiling of the train.\u00a0 Or rather, she would read the ads in Spanish, and I would fall into fits of giggles.\u00a0 See, Jordi didn&#8217;t speak Spanish.\u00a0 Her accent was remarkably good, though she occasionally slipped into a French pronunciation of words like <em>en<\/em>.\u00a0 On one particular ride I remember, Jordana decided to raise the stakes and not only <em>read<\/em> the ads but <em>translate<\/em> them too.\u00a0 She read an ad for an ambulance-chaser who specialized in <em>envenenamiento con plomo<\/em>.\u00a0 That&#8217;s lead poisoning, but I like her translation better: &#8220;an environment with feathers&#8221;.\u00a0 I imagined someone calling up this law firm and saying indignantly, &#8220;I need an attorney; my environment is rife with feathers!&#8221;\u00a0 After that, she spotted a Washington Mutual ad which boasted <em>&#8220;Nuestros ATMs no cobran,&#8221;<\/em> or &#8220;Our ATMs are surcharge-free&#8221;.\u00a0 Jordana said confidently, &#8220;There are no cobras in our ATMs,&#8221; and I envisioned the poor bastards at Chase and Citibank convulsing from snake venom, their cash littering the floor.<\/p>\n<p>I miss the MTA, and I miss my Jordi.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When Jordana and I used to ride the Metropolitan Transit Authority together, one of our favorite things to do was to read the Spanish advertisements that ran along the ceiling of the train.\u00a0 Or rather, she would read the ads in Spanish, and I would fall into fits of giggles.\u00a0 See, Jordi didn&#8217;t speak Spanish.\u00a0 &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/2009\/09\/21\/jordi\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Jordi<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-134","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/134","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=134"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/134\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":135,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/134\/revisions\/135"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=134"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=134"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=134"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}