{"id":1312,"date":"2010-10-05T19:59:29","date_gmt":"2010-10-05T23:59:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/?p=1312"},"modified":"2010-10-05T19:59:29","modified_gmt":"2010-10-05T23:59:29","slug":"dear-future-boyfriend","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/2010\/10\/05\/dear-future-boyfriend\/","title":{"rendered":"Dear Future Boyfriend"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I&#8217;m a pretty flexible person about most things. However, there are exceptions. I&#8217;m going to insist that you not wear black and navy together. Also, don&#8217;t say, &#8220;Bye bye.&#8221; You&#8217;re a grown man, for crying out loud! (Peter Sagal gets a pass because he&#8217;s funny; Neil Conan does not because he&#8217;s not.) Lastly, I&#8217;m a lid-down person. Not just seat-down, LID-down. Believe me, you&#8217;ll adapt, and the next time your toothbrush or iPhone goes clanging off the lid, instead of splashing into the bowl, you&#8217;ll come kiss me and tell me you&#8217;re glad I changed your wanton ways.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;m no Victoria&#8217;s Secret model, but I exercise A LOT. I eat fruits and vegetables every day. I brush and, most days, floss. I started an IRA when I was 20, and I&#8217;m frugal. In general, I don&#8217;t buy shit I don&#8217;t need. And though I&#8217;m prone to clutter and I hate hate hate cleaning, I endeavor to keep my physical space clean and tidy.<\/p>\n<p>I want to be with somebody who <strong>attempts<\/strong> to be healthy, financially cautious, and orderly. You&#8217;re not an independently wealthy triathlete with OCD? That&#8217;s OK&#8212;I&#8217;m just saying: worrying about your well-being, our finances, and the state of the house takes a lot of energy. Energy that could be used for sex. You make the choice.<\/p>\n<p>Kisses,<\/p>\n<p>Amy<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I&#8217;m a pretty flexible person about most things. However, there are exceptions. I&#8217;m going to insist that you not wear black and navy together. Also, don&#8217;t say, &#8220;Bye bye.&#8221; You&#8217;re a grown man, for crying out loud! (Peter Sagal gets a pass because he&#8217;s funny; Neil Conan does not because he&#8217;s not.) Lastly, I&#8217;m a &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/2010\/10\/05\/dear-future-boyfriend\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Dear Future Boyfriend<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1312","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dating"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1312","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1312"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1312\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1318,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1312\/revisions\/1318"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1312"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1312"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1312"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}