Here’s the thing about CrossFit: it makes me feel bad.<\/p>\n
I know, I know. I’m getting stronger, and I should feel good about that. And as long as I’m doing the goddamn Workout of the Day, I should be proud of myself.<\/p>\n
But I’m just not.<\/p>\n
Yesterday’s WOD was three rounds: run 1 km, 10 muscle-ups, and 100 air squats.<\/p>\n
Well, of course<\/em>, I can’t do muscle-ups—listen to how it sounds: it involves muscles<\/em> taking one in an upward<\/em> direction…for the record, from a dead-hang to a straight-arms-by-your-sides position on gymnastic rings. I don’t have<\/em> any muscles that can do that. So I took the modification. Or the modification of the modification.<\/p>\n And air squats, I can do those, though I did only 50 each round. (Honest to god, I blocked the 100 out of my mind. I didn’t realize I was doing half of the prescribed number until the end, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to go back and do the rest.)<\/p>\n And running. Man. I am just not a runner.<\/p>\n You know, my sister and I trained for and walked a marathon, not once but twice, <\/em>in 2006 and 2007. We also, two years ago, “ran” a half-marathon. Wa got us both commemorative donkey necklace charms, to symbolize how we trotted like burros for 13.1 miles.<\/p>\n She’s kept it up—god love her. She’s into it. But I just hate it. I just hate it so much.<\/p>\n For one thing, I’m not built like a runner. I’m built more like a…shot-putter maybe, or a hooker in rugby.<\/p>\n Or a burro.<\/p>\n Or a gourd.<\/p>\n Anyway, between not muscling-up and modifying everything down and watching everybody disappear into the distance in front of me…well, I just feel bad about myself.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Here’s the thing about CrossFit: it makes me feel bad. I know, I know. I’m getting stronger, and I should feel good about that. And as long as I’m doing the goddamn Workout of the Day, I should be proud of myself. But I’m just not. Yesterday’s WOD was three rounds: run 1 km, 10 … Continue reading Liftin’ Heavy Objects, Namely *Myself*<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8,12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1237","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fambly","category-liftin-heavy-objects-over-ma-head"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1237","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1237"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1237\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5138,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1237\/revisions\/5138"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1237"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1237"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1237"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}