{"id":1225,"date":"2010-08-31T21:38:43","date_gmt":"2010-09-01T01:38:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/?p=1225"},"modified":"2010-08-31T21:38:43","modified_gmt":"2010-09-01T01:38:43","slug":"2-cents-2-cents","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/2010\/08\/31\/2-cents-2-cents\/","title":{"rendered":"2 Cents + 2 Cents ="},"content":{"rendered":"<p>A facebook acquaintance had an opinion about my <a href=\"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/?p=1099\">new profile<\/a>. Here it is, interspersed with my thoughts as I read it:<\/p>\n<p><em>Amy,<br \/>\n<\/em><em>I know that this is completely unsolicited and that, coming  from me, it probably doesn&#8217;t mean much, but I actually preferred your  last Match profile entry. <\/em><\/p>\n<p>Well&#8230;from what I&#8217;ve seen, you&#8217;re not an Olympic dater. I mean, you&#8217;ve told stories and blogged about your lack of success with women&#8230;But no, no, have at. I want to hear it. I like feedback.<\/p>\n<p><em>For what it&#8217;s worth, I wouldn&#8217;t  recommend opening with the line about never buying your partner gifts.   Even if true, that seems to be a disclosure that can be saved for the  second date.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Yeah? I think it&#8217;s kind of funny. And it is true. I&#8217;m a terrible gift-giver.<\/p>\n<p><em> Sure, with most guys, it will be easily overcome, but at  least from my way of thinking, it doesn&#8217;t come off as an endearing  quality.  It makes you seem insensitive, uncaring, and\/or disinterested  in a serious relationship and I don&#8217;t think that&#8217;s how you want to come  off, and from what little I know about you, I don&#8217;t think that&#8217;s true. <\/em><\/p>\n<p>Really? Insensitive, uncaring&#8230;you don&#8217;t <em><strong>think<\/strong><\/em> that&#8217;s true? Clearly you <strong>don&#8217;t<\/strong> know me, because that describes me perfectly. Douche.<\/p>\n<p><em>I also think that your line about exceedingly photogenic and  &#8220;taking your photos with a grain of salt&#8221; could be misinterpreted at  worst, and just isn&#8217;t necessary.  For pity&#8217;s sake, you make it sound  like your photos have been airbrushed!  Don&#8217;t downplay your looks!   You&#8217;re not chubby, you&#8217;re a normal sized woman; you&#8217;re just not  anorexic.  And, if I can say so without sounding like I&#8217;m hitting on  you, you are an attractive woman at that.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;m not a fucking normal-sized woman. I&#8217;m a fat person. Also, see how I hyphenated &#8216;normal-sized&#8217;? I did that because it&#8217;s used as an adjective. And yes, because I&#8217;m pissed off, I&#8217;m going to nitpick your grammar. Because it makes me feel superior.<\/p>\n<p><em>Don&#8217;t tell guys your  pictures look better than you actually do. <\/em><\/p>\n<p>Don&#8217;t tell me what to do.<\/p>\n<p><em>It&#8217;s not true, and sends the  wrong message.  And don&#8217;t put the image of a troll in their head (even  if you say you are at least a bit more attractive then one).<br \/>\n<\/em><\/p>\n<p>You mean &#8216;than&#8217;.<\/p>\n<p><em>Think  of this as an interview where you want to sell yourself, not a  disciplinary review board where you have to make excuses for yourself.   Be positive about yourself.  Don&#8217;t give guys an excuse not to date you;  let them decide if they aren&#8217;t interested.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Oh, is that what it is? Somewhere I want to sell myself? You mean, I should try to make people <strong>like<\/strong> me? I didn&#8217;t realize that. Because I&#8217;m only 34 years old.<\/p>\n<p><em>You&#8217;ve got a lot going  for you.  You are funny, charismatic, caring, and charming&#8230; and you  like NPR.  How can you go wrong with that line up?  Go with your strong  suits, and I&#8217;m sure you&#8217;ll find the guy of your dreams.<br \/>\n<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Yes, I <strong>am<\/strong> all those things, and yes, I <strong>do<\/strong> like NPR. You <strong>can&#8217;t<\/strong> go wrong with that line-up, so shut the hell up and let me do my thing.<\/p>\n<p><em>I know that was unsolicited and possibly unwelcome, but I just wanted to give you my 2 cents.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>No, hey&#8212;thanks.<\/p>\n<p>[The thing is, (1) he said an awful lot of nice things in there, but I couldn&#8217;t hear them because I become a seventh grader in the presence of unsolicited criticism. And (2) he&#8217;s right. I&#8217;m not selling myself in this profile. I&#8217;m under-selling myself. And why would I want to do that? Perhaps because I&#8217;m so fucking ambivalent about this whole prospect. Or because I&#8217;m terrified a guy will pull up to our first date and go, &#8220;Whoa whoa whoa. No.&#8221; Or maybe because I kind of want nobody to email me so I won&#8217;t have to go through this shit again.]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A facebook acquaintance had an opinion about my new profile. Here it is, interspersed with my thoughts as I read it: Amy, I know that this is completely unsolicited and that, coming from me, it probably doesn&#8217;t mean much, but I actually preferred your last Match profile entry. Well&#8230;from what I&#8217;ve seen, you&#8217;re not an &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/2010\/08\/31\/2-cents-2-cents\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">2 Cents + 2 Cents =<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1225","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dating"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1225","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1225"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1225\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1226,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1225\/revisions\/1226"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1225"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1225"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1225"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}