{"id":109,"date":"2009-09-15T07:50:45","date_gmt":"2009-09-15T07:50:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/?p=109"},"modified":"2010-01-08T21:54:22","modified_gmt":"2010-01-09T02:54:22","slug":"down-to-nubs","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/2009\/09\/15\/down-to-nubs\/","title":{"rendered":"Down to Nubs"},"content":{"rendered":"

So Redford took my mouth guard off my night stand again, and this time he ate it.\u00a0 Not put a crack down the side like the last time, after which I brushed it with my electric toothbrush and popped it back in my mouth.\u00a0 This time he ate<\/em> it. I found a few little shards off plastic on the dog bed, but otherwise, as Anne Lamott would say, Sugar, Honey, it’s gone<\/em><\/strong>.<\/p>\n

How could I not notice him eating it?\u00a0 Shut up.<\/p>\n

Earlier in the evening, I had dropped some ice, and ice is clear and crunchy too.\u00a0 Course, ice doesn’t usually last 20 minutes, but Redford was quiet and occupied, and you don’t know how rare an occasion that is<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Anyhow, it’s gone<\/em><\/strong>.<\/p>\n

That means I’ve been sleeping without a barrier between my upper and lower teeth for three nights.\u00a0 Big deal, right?\u00a0 Well, people have told me that when I don’t wear a mouth guard, they can hear me grinding my teeth.\u00a0 Let me say that again:\u00a0 they can hear me grinding my teeth.\u00a0 Now I’ve tried during my waking hours to grind my teeth audibly and I CAN’T DO IT.\u00a0 Go ahead, try it!\u00a0 How hard is that?!<\/p>\n

I’ve had a mouth guard since I was twelve.\u00a0 Dentist-made ones, ones I bought at Dick’s Sporting Goods, soft ones, hard ones, ones that cover my top teeth, bottom teeth, both sets of teeth, ones that just sat between my back teeth.\u00a0 None have helped with the headaches or the TMJ.\u00a0 They certainly don’t stop you from clenching.\u00a0 In fact, they encourage it.\u00a0 If you have something between your teeth, the impulse is to bite it.\u00a0 (Get\u00a0 your minds out of the gutter, pervs.)\u00a0 But mouth guards have stopped me from grinding my teeth, as one dentist put it, “down to nubs”.<\/p>\n

Redford didn’t eat a $10 one I got off the Internet or a $20 one from Dick’s.\u00a0 No, he ate the real kind.\u00a0 The one\u00a0 I had to go to a different dentist for because he made yet again a different kind for me to try but of course I had to get an exam and a full set of X-rays from him and that’ll be 800 please.<\/p>\n

(By the way, I love how dentists’ office people never say the word ‘dollars’.\u00a0 It’s always ‘800’, or for my root canal last year ‘a thousand’.\u00a0 I always want to say, “Bananas?\u00a0 Can I give you a thousand bananas?”)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

So Redford took my mouth guard off my night stand again, and this time he ate it.\u00a0 Not put a crack down the side like the last time, after which I brushed it with my electric toothbrush and popped it back in my mouth.\u00a0 This time he ate it. I found a few little shards … Continue reading Down to Nubs<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-109","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-animules","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/109","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=109"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/109\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":472,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/109\/revisions\/472"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=109"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=109"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/avidbruxist.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=109"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}