I needed to borrow my sister’s truck to help a friend transport a grill, so I headed up to her place on 4th of July morning and found Wa, brow knitted, picking up yard waste. A few minutes prior, she told me, she had startled a copperhead who was resting underneath a bush, and it [...]
I hate litterers. I mean, I really hate them. I know I should hate the sin and not the sinner, but I have a special loathing for the type of person who thinks it’s somebody else’s responsibility to pick up his/her shit. When I taught in New York, my students were constantly throwing trash on [...]
Why won’t people stop telling me I’ve lost weight? You might recall, I fucking hate it.You might recall, when they tell me I’ve lost weight, I’ve never lost weight. You might recall that I think people just remember me as a jiggly behemoth and are surprised when they see me and I’m fat but not [...]
Did you miss me? (crickets)
Overheard at breakfast this morning: “Bacon drippings are actually pretty good for you. You know, in comparison to [mumbled].” Fried mayonnaise? Jet fuel? An ax to the chest?
OK, I just deactivated the reCaptcha, which means you won’t have to type in those kooky, curvy words, and reactivated the akismet plug-in, which means your comments may go into my spam filter. But don’t worry. I’ll fish ‘em out.
I definitely had OCD tendencies when I was a kid. For years, if the right side of my head itched and I scratched it, I also had to scratch the left side. If my left thigh brushed against the arm of the couch as I was walking by, I would have to turn around and [...]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
What is the obsession with prepositions in our language? I remember, when I went to Italy for that year, being astounded that there was an entirely different verb for every get-plus-preposition we use in English. Think about it: get in (a car) get in (a college) get out (of a car) get out (“Get OUT! [...]
By the time I get around to dusting my house, it should really be called ‘dirting’.