Amy’s Fashion Misadventures: A Shirt Vomiting Another More Hideous Shirt Out the Back

Your fashion-challenged Avid Bruxist—she is back with another (mis)adventure! (For previous posts, scroll to the bottom and click the Fayshun tag.)

Oh Guinness, where do I start? I’m like three months behind on this ish, and I have more than just Stitch Fix to tell you about!

There’s BETABRAND.

There’s the THRIFT STORE.

There’s THAT’S ALL JUST THOSE TWO OTHER THINGS IT SEEMED LIKE A LOT MORE WHEN I STARTED THIS THOUGHT.

First things first, I’d been seeing those “go to work in your yoga pants” ads all over Facebook, and I was like, that sounds delightful, add to cart plz.

Admitted tactical error: ordering this pattern. Obvs, the length is a problem too, but that can be remedied. 

What can’t be remedied? (1) The texture. They did not feel like yoga pants. Or maybe they felt like yoga pants previously napped in by a vv coarse-haired cat. So itchy. (2) To quote Kate quoting Michael Kors, “That has insane crotch.”

If you want to try Betabrand, which I don’t recommend, use this link and I’ll get 15 bucks off my next pair, which I’ll never buy because of the above reasons STOP SENDING ME EMAILS BETABRAND.

Moving on to better pants, i.e. these jeans from Stitch Fix.

Yay! Uniform dark wash! Checked in with Kate to confirm.

When Kate says mama likey, then baby keepy, and that sounded much grosser than I meant it to.

Moving on. Here are some other good pants.

Pattern’s hard to see. Here’s a closeup:

And those are all the pants that are fit to print. Let’s do a dress!

Kate and I agreed that the color palette on this was a thumbs-up.

My problem was that the pattern accentuated my widest parts, and hers was that it was too short for work. I quote: “You’d sit down and it’d be all how’s your mother here’s a show.”

Next up, this shirt demonstrates why…

…you always check the rear view!

<100 horrified face emojis>

Let’s keep going with shirts. Here’s a totally OK shirt:

Look, I get it–I’m paying not just for clothes but for someone to shop for those clothes, but let’s grant the premise that this is a $15 Kohl’s shirt–that means I’m paying my proxy $43 to hit the bargain bin. I shan’t do it.

Here’s another totally OK shirt:

Kate agreed it was just OK. I sent it back.

Now for a shirt that was not totally OK.

Kate agreed.

How about a cardigan with toddler accessory?

I haven’t worn it yet because it’s been global warming outside, but I think I will.

I’m still such a fashion noob. Sometimes I don’t know simple things like whether you button…?

or don’t button?

I kept it, but I haven’t worn it yet. As I mentioned, global warming, plus I’m still not sure I should’ve kept it.

Here’s a boring sweater I sent back. Not even the elbow patches could retrieve it from Boringville.

I’m wearing more dresses these days, so this number left me in a bit of a quandary.

Ultimately decided the idea wasn’t well executed and sent it back.

Welcome to another episode of Check the Back!

I hope the problem is the shirts and not my back.

I’m still confused about accessorizing. I can often figure out which earrings will go with that outfit or which necklace will go with that outfit, but I don’t know which earrings will go with that necklace.

I probably should’ve kept these because they’re simple and would’ve gone with things, but they were… I can’t remember. Like in the 30-dollarses.

On the opposite hand, this necklace was too fancy for my taste:

The good news is I found summa them bead necklaces I was looking for when Stitch Fix sent me that… thing.

All at the thrift store for like 99 cents each!

OK, I saved another goodie for the end for you. I had an opinion about this shirt, but I wanted to see what Kate would say. Reader, take a minute and really think about what YOU think about it. See if it matches Kate’s and my assessment. (Ignore the pants.)

Ready?

If you chose Burn It with Fire, you win!

Hey, if you want to try Stitch Fix for yourself, please use this link. They’ll give me a $25 credit, and I’ll keep writing these silly blogs.

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