The Foster Chronicles: Tulip, Week 21

Don’t know Tulip? Start here.

Day 1

I come out of the shower to find Tulip chewing up a pair of flip flops that I’ve just bought to replace the flip flops Violet chewed up two years ago. (Yes, I have been wearing them since then.) I snatch the shoe out of her mouth and—I’m not proud of this—I throw it at her. It glances off her foot.

It is mangled. I’m so mad I flop down face-down on my bed and just breathe. It’s only a flip-flop, I say. She didn’t know any better, I say.

Eventually, I get up, but I give her the silent treatment. Though she has always followed me from room to room, she stays on my bedroom floor and looks sheepish.

I last about five minutes before I crawl up next to her and rub my forehead against her neck. She forgives me. Dogs.

Day 2

A woman who has previously adopted a CCB dog wants to meet Tulip, though she has a cat, and I think Tulip might eat a cat.

Day 3

My buddy Phil develops a plan to bomb a bunch of neighborhood listservs with an email about Tulip, including links to her Facebook page and tumblr.

I write and forward him the email, and he implements the plan.

Day 4

Due to the listserv bomb, Tulip gets lots of new Likers on Facebook. Everyone thinks she’s so funny.

She shits on the deck again. Very funny, Tulip.

Day 5

Two different prospects contact me about meeting Tulip. I send them my availability for the weekend, and we set up appointments.

Day 6

Both prospects cancel.

Day 7

How the hell has she not been adopted yet?

The Foster Chronicles: Tulip, Week 22