Seat Belt Neck

I’m a little teapot, short and stout, and one of the results is Seat Belt Neck.

Where my shawties at? You know what I’m talking about, don’t you? Even if you have a built-in adjuster next to the door across from the head rest, and you have it on the lowest setting, the seat belt still cuts across the left side of your neck. Feels nice.

So you adjust by sitting permanently on your right ass-cheek and/or holding the seat belt out away from your body with your left hand. Which is difficult when you drive a stick shift.

I finally went on Amazon and ordered

a couple pieces of plastic for eight dollars.

See, you hold the big piece on the front of the lap belt and snap it into place with the little one on the back. Then you slide the shoulder belt into the clip, and voila! The seat belt stays off your neck.

And the pull from the shoulder belt jams the top of the piece of plastic into your abdomen. Feels nice.

Bah!