A woman I went to college with recently updated her status on Facebook to say something like, “I’ll grant you that marriage is difficult, if you’ll concede that dating for 20 years ain’t no cakewalk either.”

Word. It’s stressful and awkward and confusing.

My friend Sam said I should try a different dating website, something other than OKCupid and Match. eHarmony was having a ten-day free “communication event”, so I put a profile up. But I didn’t really get around to snooping, and then they were asking a ridiculous amount of money to join. I was already on the fence because I remembered about the no-gay thing. So, pfthpt, I thought.

Of course, after the promotion ended, they offered a much-discounted rate: twenty bucks a month, three-month minimum. All right, I thought, I’ll bite. (My sister said I should give sixty bucks to GLAAD to counter-balance. Will do.)

But now I’m looking at the profiles…they’re all old and fathers and vanilla. Too many Christian financial analysts who spend their free time reading tech manuals and golf magazines.

On the bright side, Japanese Giant Salamander man asked for a second date. I invited him to see the new play at Manbites Dog. We both liked it.

And he smells good.