I [Stir-fry] Myself

Joined Match.com today. OKCupid was not cutting it.

Sometimes, just for shits and giggles, I like to play Mad Libs with the dudes’ profiles.

“You want somebody that: treats you like a [dolphin], [swiffers] you, has a money paying [monkey], won’t embarrass [your cat], [screams] charge, makes you [speak Arabic] and will listen to your [rotator cuffs] but not fix them.”