New contest, folks.  Find me a father for my unborn children and WIN!  One.  Hundred.  Dollars.

You think I’m kidding.  I’m not.  As my 15-year-old self would say, I’m totally cereal.  One.  Hundred.  Dollars.  On the day I discover I’m pregnant with my first child by the man you have set me up with, I send you a United States Postal Service money order for a hundred bucks.

Here are my requirements:

  • Has a job.  Or is independently wealthy.  Whatever, I’m just not going to be his sugar mama.
  • Makes me laugh.  How will you know?  You’ve read my blog.  I make me laugh.

Do you have a brother, friend, coworker, preacher, or divorced grandfather who wants to have babies with me?  Well, chop chop, people.  I’m turning 34 on Thursday.